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Dad shares sweary rant about living with plant-obsessed wife

Dad shares sweary rant about living with plant-obsessed wife

When out doing the shopping, it's very easy to pick up one or two extra bits that you didn't really need.

For instance, we might grab a bottle of wine, just because it's a Wednesday or several large bars of chocolate to eat while watching Netflix.

If we're feeling really indulgent we could treat ourselves to a bunch of flowers to brighten up the house.

But we probably wouldn't randomly come home with a tree.

One woman, however recently did just that, returning home much to the shock of her husband with not one, but two massive plants for the house.

Australian parenting blogger Sarah Kearns let her plant obsession get the best of her earlier this week and her partner, Brad really wasn't very happy about it.

Brad took to their Facebook page, DaDMuM to share his thoughts on his wife's latest purchase in a very sweary rant.

He wrote: "Does anyone else’s wife have an issue with getting plants that are a REASONABLE F***ING SIZE for the house???

"I should have known when she asked me to 'help lift the plants up the stairs'. I opened the front door to not one but two f***ing Jurassic sized trees. She said they were for our bedroom...

"So yep while y’all sleep peacefully in your warm beds tonight apparently these plants are the only reason I can even 'breathe fresh air' in my house. It’s getting ridiculous. That’s a king-sized bed and I’m not even that small."

Alongside this, he shared a snap of the gigantic plants towering over either side of the bed, while he sat underneath one.
Dad shares sweary rant about living with plant-obsessed wife
He joked that they weren't plants as they probably had birds nesting in them, adding: "I swear to f**k one of these leaves tickles my face and I’ll burn it.

"F**k my life."

Over 19,000 people liked and commented on the post, but the plant craziness didn't end there.

A number of people replied, urging them to be careful as the plants may have spiders in them - definitely something to worry about in Australia.

These comments worried Sarah, who then couldn't sleep with the plants in the room and asked him to once again help her move them back outside.

He explained all in a second post.

"I posted about it online and people talked about spiders coming out of them in our sleep and at 11pm she decided she couldn’t sleep and 'we' needed to move them outside and call the pest man due to the newfound safety risk to 'us'.

"She makes choices like a gambler with a pocket full of mortgage payments.

"I legitimately thought she was joking. Coz you know... there’s spiders outside that would go into them and make it their home.

"You couldn’t write it could you... just remember this when we divorced and she talkin’ smack about me on the Internet.

"F**k the spiders. F**k the plants. F**k my life."


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